Headcheezoniom
by Headcheez
Summary: A Vampire comes to Skool and shows Mrs.Bitters's a glass of Headcheezonium. a Liquid that is a substute for blood, But it turns humans into werewolves. ZIM Steals it, tries to use it in his next plan, but it backfires in his Face. Get ready for Insanity!
1. The Potion

Hello and welcome to Headcheezonium. My first fic! This fic came from 2 different dreams I had last night. I wrote most of chapter 1 in school before I forgot. Anyway enjoy the story!

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3 days ago, a vampire named Headcheez was telling Mrs. Bitters class about Headcheezonium with his Non-Vampire assistant, Jeff.

"A few days after I became a vampire I began working on Headcheezonium. A few months later, it worked. It is a substitute for blood that works. It even lets me be in sunlight. But If a human or Irken (ZIMs Eyes widen in surprise) drinks it, he/She will turn into a Werewolf. And there is one antidote, Experience your worst fear. Any questions?"

Silence for a few seconds before someone raises their hand. "Yes?" Headcheez said, "What's an Irken?" The student asked. Headcheez pointed at ZIM who, Of Course, Panicked.

"Uh…Eh… LIES! I AM HUMAN! HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!"

Headcheez's first thought was 'wow, I'm not deaf?' But then he noticed people calling him crazy except one kid. "What's wrong with you people!" The kid said, "If a person who just met us thinks he is an alien, you should believe that person! The only reason you don't believe me is just because of reputation!" "Shut up! Dib! That guy is a vampire! Not a human" That's when headcheez lost it.

"WHAT!" He screamed "JUST BECAUSE I HAVE FANGS AND GLOWING GREEN EYES IM NOT A HUMAN! That's it I'm out of here." Headcheez stormed out.

Then ZIM ran up to Him and whispered, "How do you know about me?" "Because I'm a vampire, I've been to hell before I was a vampire and I met some dead Irkens there. Now I will be going" Then Headcheez vanished in a puff of smoke. Leaving a stunned ZIM behind.

ZIM walked back into the classroom and sat down. Then ZIM noticed that Headcheez forgot the Headcheezonium on the counter in the back of the classroom, ZIM also remembered that humans wound become werewolves if they drank it. He also realized,

He found a plan to get rid of Dib once and for all.

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Me- HA! HA! YOU HAVE A CLIFFHANGER!

Jeff- No they don't

Me- SHUT UP! (Slaps Jeff)

Jeff **– (**Out Cold)

Me- Anyway, Sorry for the short chapter. Read and Review! And if there is any flames that person will be fed Headcheezonium. Chapter 2 coming soon and the next one will be longer.

HEADCHEEZ, OUT!


	2. The Plan

YAY! CHAPTER 2! Jeff woke up and is now dancing for no apparent reason. Anyway, this chapter is the second part of my trip to the Skool. In this chapter, you will experience a failed plan, ZAP! And a dancing monkey. Ok, not that last one, but anyway, enjoy part 2 of the Trilogy Experience of Headcheezonium.

DISCLAMER- I do not own Invader ZIM. I Do, However, Own Myself. And Jeff

Jeff- HEY!

Me- SHUT UP! (Throws a tin Can at his head)

Jeff- OW!

Me- Anyway, Enjoy the chapter!

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It was 2:30 AM the next morning and ZIM was in the Voot Cruiser heading for the Skool.

His mission, Steal the Headcheezonium and put it in Dibs food the next day. Causing him to turn into a werewolf and there for not a treat to the mission. GIR was at home watching the Scary Monkey Show.

Finally, ZIM landed at the Skool and hacked into the skools computer to turn off the security system.

Once it was off, he raced into the skool, ran into Mrs. Bitters Class and grabbed the Headcheezonium. But before he could get anywhere, Headcheez appeared in a puff of smoke.

"I wouldn't do that is I were you!" He said. ZIM jumped and turned around. "What are you doing here Dead-Human? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" ZIM said Nastily.

"I don't sleep! I'm a vampire, Remember! And I'm here to stop you from stealing my stuff. I warn you, If you don't give that back, you will pay" Headcheez said.

He sounded REALLY Mad. ZIM took out a watch, Pressed the button and vanished without a trace. Leaving a confused and mad Headcheez Behind.

Later That night, ZIM was talking to Prisoner 777. "Do you have any vortion laser guns? I lost mine. I want to shoot that Dead-Human and Dib." ZIM Asked. "Sure, Here" 777 said board.

It Teleported to his base. "Also, The time watch worked. I will be using it again for my plan tomorrow when I put some of that Vampire stuff in the Dib humans Food. Thus destroying him by turning him into a werewolf! ZIM OUT!"

And he rudely hangs up. Unaware of the vampire that was watching his every move. Headcheez went home in a puff of smoke without ZIM Knowing. 'Now I new ZIMs Plan.' Headcheez Thought 'he was going to give him the Headcheezonium and will wait until the last 10 minutes to give him his antidote. And I know exactly what its going to be.' He Bursted into Diabolical Laughter.

The Next day, in the cafeteria, ZIM Took the Headcheezonium out of his backpack and walked over to Dib. ZIM then took out the time watch and stopped time.

However, Just before ZIM could put the Headcheezonium on the food, POOF! You guessed it; Headcheez appeared behind ZIM right on cue.

After ZIM jumped 25 feet in fright, Headcheez began talking "This is your last chance ZIM, if you put ONE drop of Headcheezonium into that food, you will suffer horribly.

"pfft" ZIM Scoffed. "You sound just like that scary GAZ-Human. And she doesn't scare me!"

"Is GAZ a Vampire?" Headcheez asked. This shut ZIM Up. However, That did not stop him from his plan.

The moment the Headcheezonium touched the food, ZIM was electrocuted.

"Congratulations!" Headcheez said, "You have been zapped with Vaporizing juice! Normally, you would die insintly. But because you're Irken, It will take 24 hours. The only way to get rid of this curse is to do my antidote."

"What is the antidote" ZIM asked nervous.

"Do you honestly think I'll tell you now?" Headcheez Said, "I'm going to wait until the last 5 minutes to tell you. Therefore, you have no chance of finding another cure! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Headcheez Vanishes in a puff of smoke.

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YAY! Chapter 2 is here! Coming up next, THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THE TRILOGY! YAY!

Anyway, Please R&R as always.

HEADCHEEZ OUT!


	3. The Antidote

Me- Hi everyone, welcome to to the final chapter. This story took place of January 18,19 and 20 of 2003. Since then I moved to the New Jersey area. January 20 had to be the most interesting day of my life. Here is the day's story and the final day at the Skool. Enjoy!

Disclaimer- I do not own Invader ZIM

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ZIM was sitting in his lab on the morning of January 20. He had spent all night looking for a cure. But he found none.

So he disited to call Prisoner 777. "What now?" asked 777. "I need you to find a cure for me." ZIM Said "I've been zapped by a vampire ray and if I don't find a cure by 12:07 PM earth time, I will die!"

"I'm sorry" 777 said "But the only cure is to do the assigned antidote by the Vampire. So you're going to have to ask him.

"BUT HE SAID HE'S NOT GOING TO TELL ME UNTIL THE LAST 5 MINUTES!" ZIM screamed. "I NEED THE CURE NOW! I DON'T WANT TO DO HIS CURE!" 

"There's no other way. So I wish you good luck. BYE!" 777 gangs up. ZIM growls as the Skool alarm goes off. He puts on his disguise and heads over to meet his DOOM.

That day, before Class started Headcheez appeared next to ZIM. ZIM Didn't jumps this time because he was getting used to headcheez's unexpected Comings and goings. ZIM just grabbed Headcheez by the his shirt and said "What is the antidote. TELL ME!" 

"I told you" Headcheez Said "I'm not going to tell you until the last 5 minutes." "EVIL!" ZIM Shrieked. "Yes I know." Headcheez said and disappeared into a puff of smoke. Then the bell rang to go to class.

3 hours later, ZIM was sitting in the cafeteria. It was 12:01. 'If the Dead-human doesn't tell me now The GREAT ZIM will be no more. HURRY UP!' ZIM thought this just before Headcheez appeared in his usual puff of smoke with Jeff by his side.

"Now, I suppose you want to know the cure." Headcheez said. "YES! Tell ZIM before its too late!" ZIM said. 

"Well" Headcheez Explained, putting on an evil grin. "The cure is to experience your worst fear. Since I went through your journal and can read minds, so I have discovered your worst fear is to kiss your worst enemy.

ZIM's eyes widened like dinner plates.

"Y-YO-YOU MEAN I HAVE TO KISS THE DIB-HUMEN!" ZIM screamed in horror.

"Unfortunately no" Headcheez explained. "The laws Of Torture say you can't make a guy kiss a guy unless they're straight. Because you're not capable of love, it has to be a female. Therefore, I picked the closest possible represenitive. 

"Gaz." 

There was a long pause. Finally, Jeff broke the silence. "I thought you hated ZAGR!" He said to Headcheez.

"I do" Headcheez said. "I just want to see ZIM do something he would never do followed by him getting his Limbs removed. WON'T THAT BE FUN?" finally, ZIM got the courage to speak. "No. And I will not kiss the Gaz-humen. I would rather die the fast way." 

"Fine." Headcheez said "but won't the tallests be disappointed when their favorite invader would rather die then do a simple task. You're darn lucky this is a PG rated fic, or it would be MUCH worse. You have approximately 4 minutes now to kiss her. Otherwise you will earn the title as worst invader ever. I just want to wish you good luck. Try not to get dead and have a nice day."

Headcheez and Jeff both disappear in puffs of smoke. But this time, they just poofed to another table to get a good view of the show.

In ZIM's Mind, he was exploding in anger and fear. He slowly stepped up to Gaz and sat down right across from her and Dib.

"What are you doing here Space-boy!" ZIM Looked and was terrified. He looked like he was about to get laid by a giant frog (A/N: I'm sorry. I had to say that)

He looked over at Headcheez and Jeff. Jeff Was too busy working on something. Headcheez gave ZIM a thumbs up. Headcheez then hit Jeff and told him to pay attention to this memorable moment.

ZIM stood up, Groaned to himself, suddenly kissed Gaz on the cheek and RAN FOR HIS FREAKIN' LIFE! 

While running he glanced at Headcheez and Jeff cracking up. This was a big mistake because he ran into a wall.

He woke up with Gaz standing over him. With a stare so mad, Even the author cant describe it. Gaz punched him out again after 5 minutes of torture.

He woke up the Second time on the couch in his base. With Headcheez and Jeff standing over him. "I hate you" ZIM managed to say. He was in so much pain. 

"Now that I've reclaimed my potion and got revenge" Headcheez said "its time for me to hit the road. But I just wanted to tell you 3 last things."

"And what are they?" ZIM asked

"Ok" Headcheez Said "first, look where you're running. You have 3 broken bones and are currently under Rehabilitation. Second, and most important, I would like to tell you that there was no such thing as the curse. I simply zapped you with electricity and told a story."

"WHAT! 'Cough' I hate you." ZIM said hoarsely.

"I thought you would." Headcheez said. As he stood up. "It is time for me to depart from this place. So I hope you learned your lesion."

ZIM just groaned at this.

"Just one more thing" Headcheez said. "Gaz is currently breaking into the base with a chainsaw trying to kill you."

"…I hate you." ZIM Muttered "SORRY!" Headcheez said in a game show voice. Then he 

And Jeff disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

"ZZZZZZIIIIIIIMMMMMM!" Screamed Gaz from the outside just as she broke a wall down.

"Shit" ZIM managed to say just as Gaz lunged at ZIM with a chainsaw.

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Me- and that is the story of when Jeff and me went to the town of Invader ZIM. It was probably the most "Interesting" Trips of my After-life AND my real life! I thank you for reading this and expect more Fics from me in the future. GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!

CREDITS

Written By- Headcheez

Writed By- Headcheez.

Illustrated By- a pair of scissors

Painted By- John jvyujeiorguhdopigdfughoeruioghdfingsphgrihyoptihsiotoihyrthsmith

Directed By- Mr. H.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J Headcheez.

Drove to work By- Michael McKenna

Hit on the head By- Adolf Hitler.

Born and Raised in- The Place of magical Fics.

Murdered By- SPAM ™

Resurrected By- Ye Old Resurrecter that loves to bring stuff back from the dead.

Blown up by- Explosives

Stabbed 42 times with a Pen by- Johnny. C

Set on fire By- A Box.

And Finally, Thrown out a window into a plate of Ham that eats SPAM ™ on a clam that likes to avenge against crime of DOOM where it blew up but was brought back to live by dancing Lamas from Canada! Home of Toronto! Then this fic was stolen by 2 bank robbers that realized it wasn't money. So they gave it to Headcheez, A pair of scissors, John jvyujeiorguhdopigdfughoeruioghdfingsphgrihyoptihsiotoihyrthsmith, Mr. H.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J Headcheez, Michael McKenna, Adolf Hitler, The Place of magical Fics, SPAM ™, Ye Old Resurrecter that loves to bring stuff back from the dead, Explosives, Johnny. C, And a box. They then posted it here and jumped down a well. The end. MEAT! 

Copyright, - The Headcheez organization in 2008.

Now go home.


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